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  • Are you a 'serenity parent' or a 'tiger mother'?

    Wednesday 25 May 2011

    Categories: Education, Extra curricular, Parenting

    Dr Bryan Caplan, childcare expert, has apparently decreed that it is a waste of time for parents to over-fill their children’s lives with out of school activities in an attempt to ensure the future success of their offspring. He advocates ‘serenity parenting’, set against the efforts of the ‘tiger mother’ who is pushy and overambitious and whose children are over-committed.

    Over a thirty year career, the last ten as a Head, I think I may have encountered parents at all points along the spectrum. I have certainly seen my fair share of pushy parents who are determined to secure advantage for their children through their intervention in their sons’ and daughters’ education and considerable involvement in all aspects of their children’s lives beyond school. But I have to say they have always concerned me less than parents who appeared not to care about their children, or who believed in ‘healthy neglect’.

    It always seemed to me that a passionate commitment to wanting the best for your children, and seeing education as an important route to achieving this, is the most natural thing in the world. As a teacher and then a Head I would much prefer to deal with an insistent, overly involved parent than with one who was uninterested. If parents won’t make the effort to come to parents’ evenings, don’t bother to ensure their children attend school reliably and complete homework conscientiously and are quick to take children out of school for holidays during term time, it can be very difficult to work together with these parents in the best interests of the children.

    I do know that when a child is clearly at the centre of the parent’s world, this can lead to a narrowness of vision which parents sometimes have to be alerted to. Children do need the space and the opportunity to develop independence and a sense of personal responsibility. This isn’t something parents can do for them, and parents have to be cautious of trying to relive their own lives through their children.

    But I understand the passion and the drive of the tiger mother.

    Posted by Jill Berry

Your comments

I agree with your opinion. I myself have been through the bitter sweet experience of parenting. It is dangerous to have fixed rules, we all want the best for our offspring . In my experience every child is different. It is easy to criticise other peoples’ methods. I think whatever we do should be with love and consideration and respect for your child.

By Eva on Friday 8 July 2011

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