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Cycling to school alone - parents & schools in conflict
Wednesday 7 July 2010
Categories: Letting go, Parenting, Personal Safety
The story of the Dulwich family and the school in conflict over the cycling to school of the two young children has thrown up a number of interesting issues. (Daily Mail July 7th 2010)
Whose call is it to decide how safe a school-related activity is, and can the school “pull rank” over the parents and insist that an activity is unreasonably dangerous, even if the parents disagree?
The controversy this has caused confirms that this is clearly not a simple question with an obvious answer. To me, the saddest element of the story is that family and school are at loggerheads, with the children in the middle.
As a Head, I have worked with a number of families over the years to find a way forward and perhaps a compromise when tension exists. In my view, responsible parents and good schools need to work together to provide a sensible framework for children. Within this framework, children, as they grow older, increasingly take their own decisions and make choices as a natural part of their growing independence and living their own lives. When they are too young to make such decisions themselves, parents and schools should work together to do it for them.
Parents will always focus on their individual child, and this is absolutely understandable and natural. Schools have a wider view which comes from representing the interests of many children and caring for them all. Sometimes what parents think is right for their child is reviewed in the light of constructive and positive discussion with the school.
We all need to build children’s resilience and their capacity to cope with risk and challenge – to educate them and not simply to protect them. However, parents and schools should act together, always, in the best interests of the children. It is certainly in no child’s best interest for their schools and their families to be involved in a public fight with the children themselves at the centre.
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