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Not tonight Josie!
Tuesday 8 June 2010
Categories: Family Relationships, Growing up, Parenting
Yet another survey, this one of children’s views, heaps guilt on parents.
It appears that children feel that their parents put them off and won’t attend to them when they want (Daily Mail June 2010). There cannot be a single parent who didn’t wince when they heard this; after all surely every one of us has at some time said “Not now, I’m busy” Of course our children deserve and need our attention whether for help with homework, to hear their woes or because they have suddenly remembered that they need an outfit for tomorrow’s assembly, clean sports kit or a permission slip signed.
But they are of the “I know what I want and I want it NOW” generation; the generation that, probably because we’ve attended to their every whim from the earliest age, expect us to jump and ask “how high” whenever they think they need us.
Sometimes it’s appropriate to say that you are busy, that what you are doing has to be done right now and that they will have to wait. It’s important that there is a good reason. And it’s vital that we give them our full attention once we’ve completed whatever it is that couldn’t be deferred. It’s good for them to appreciate that our time is just as valuable as theirs and perhaps they will then value the time we do give them.We tend to appreciate those things that don’t come easily, that have to be worked for, waited for or saved up for. The ability to defer gratification has been linked to greater happiness so parents can comfort themselves with the knowledge that sometimes when we say “Not now Josie” we are actually doing them a favour and helping them become more mature human beings…
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