Latest blog posts

What’s going on out there and who thinks what about it?
Opinion and observation on all aspects of raising and educating girls in today’s world...

  • Toxic childhood?

    Wednesday 19 October 2011

    Categories: Growing up, Media Influence, Parenting, Role Models

    Surely parents should pay attention when over 200 teachers, academics, authors and charity leaders issue dire warnings? A group of them is urging the government to take action (The Telegraph Sept 11) because they believe that children’s wellbeing and mental health is being undermined by the pressures of modern life and by the culture of “too much too soon”.

    I would argue differently –

    What really is childhood? – dear little innocent girls and boys playing innocent games until they reach their majority when they emerge like pure butterflies, safely protected from The Big Bad World until they are deemed old enough to cope? But that Victorian picture was a mirage. Working class children’s lives were hard and often short, girls were seldom educated and then married off early, boys were beaten and upper class children were brought up by paid servants until being sent away to stern boarding schools. So are these worthy, concerned people harbouring nostalgia for something that never existed?

    It is certainly the case that children today are exposed to an infinity of pressures – from a far more rigorous school exam system, from media which tantalisingly dangle examples of fortune, fame and celebrity and yet at the same time tell terrible tales of child abduction, murder and paedophilia.

    We hear stories of parents who are neglectful and of those who hot-house and mollycoddle. We read of schools which are failing their pupils as well as those which focus on exam results and league tables at the expense of children’s healthy emotional development.

    What is really happening and what can caring parents do?

    I would argue that it is neither possible nor wise to insulate children from the society in which they are growing up; they will be exposed to undesirable influences and to bad examples of behaviour and they need and deserve to be shown how to cope with competition and pressure. Government cannot greatly alter society, although it can regulate advertising aimed at young children. Realistically parents cannot shield children from learning “too much too soon” especially now that so many have their own “office” in their bedrooms. Today’s children are more connected to the outer world than ever before.

    Intelligent parenting can however mediate outside influences – communication is the key. By discussing TV programmes and news stories you can affect how your daughter thinks about what she sees and hears. By staying involved in her life – knowing who her friends are, what she and they are doing, thinking and feeling – you can help her to process her experiences and to develop good moral values. By teaching her that the things she works for and earns are more valuable than those she gets instantly and easily you will enable her to be less prone to expect instant gratification. And never forget that you are your daughter’s most influential role model – she will learn more from how you behave and from the views you express than from her friends or the media.

    Posted by Alison Morris

Your comments

Good article, Alison!

By J Berry on Sunday 23 October 2011

Add my comment…