The importance of 'working hard and playing hard'...

Q. Just had a parent/teacher evening and my 12 year old daughter is clearly working too hard. She is a weekly boarder and is very happy with this, and the school (as am I). The school recognise that she spends too much time on work, and insufficient time on play, and I am confident that they will do everything to encourage her to have more fun and take things less seriously. I just wondered what I could do to help her. I hope that I give her lots of praise, encouragement, and support, but clearly it is not enough at the moment. She is a member of various clubs and activities at school which she thoroughly enjoys, but on the whole is very serious about everything to the extent that she is considering her GCSE options already, and has been spending too much break time reading in the library. She does say she is happy with the level of work, and not struggling. She has a small circle of close friends, and seems happy with this. I would like her to ‘lighten up’ a bit and have fun, as I feel she may be missing out on a very important part of life. Any suggestions please?

A. It sounds as if you are taking a balanced view of your daughter’s work ethic which is a good start. Being over-anxious will just compound matters and possibly push her to work even harder, or for longer. This could be just a stage that your daughter is going through which might be directed, in part, by her circle of friends and she herself might become more relaxed as she grows up.

However, you are right to encourage her to take a balanced approach to life and make sure she doesn’t miss out on having fun before she grows up. Perhaps if there were openings for her at home, with friends outside school, she might find it easier to develop a different set of activities. Perhaps you could facilitate opportunities for her out of school as part of what you do as a family or with your own connections. You could talk to her about how important it is that she has a healthy, balanced life style that incorporates the idea of ‘working hard and playing hard’ because that is what will help her to succeed at university and beyond. I hope there is something here that will make a difference to you and your daughter.