Should both my daughters go to the same school?

Q. I am in a real quandary about what to do. I have a 13 year old who went to her new girls only senior school in September and is flourishing. She was at her old prep school from Kindergarten until she did her 13+. My second daughter is currently in year 6 and is very diligent and lovely but really struggles. She is in set 3 for everything and C team etc. I think we should try for the 11+ to get her into the same school as our older daughter and avoid the two years leading up to common entrance at 13+. Going earlier would mean she would hopefully get in but my big dilemma is sending her boarding earlier than her sister i.e. she will be nearly 12 but I still feel she needs nurturing and I am not sure I am ready for her to go. What to do?

A. Ask yourself first – honestly – whether this senior school is definitely the right place for your second daughter. Sometimes we become so focused on the practicalities of how to get into schools that we forget to check that the match is right. This is often especially the case with second children – we can very easily make the assumption that the school that has so suited the first will definitely be right for the second, and this isn’t always the case. Your second daughter is struggling and is obviously different from her sibling – is she really suited to the same place as her sister? If you have doubts, start looking for other schools straight away, to broaden your options; if you have no doubts, then start thinking very carefully about your daughter and her needs. If she is ready to board – and second children often are ready before their older siblings were – then you are almost certainly right that it will be a smart move to let her take the 11+ rather than the 13+, as competition for places will only grow further up the school, and she might need every advantage in the admissions process. You also need to put your feelings to one side to support what is right for her. If she is up for the challenge and will be supported and nurtured in your chosen senior school, then let her go!