My daughter is homesick!

Q. My daughter started weekly boarding this term – she is eleven. From the moment we viewed the school, we all felt this was the right place for her, and she has been full of excitement. However – two days in and homesickness has hit her hard. She recognises this is not unusual, but I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t wish to be an ‘over protective mother’ or to make the situation harder for her to deal with, and I don’t think it is in my daughter’s best interests to keep calling her. We are agreed she should call me, and I am always available. She says she really likes the school and her new friends, but just wants the homesickness to go away…

A. Your daughter’s response to weekly boarding is completely normal. She will miss home to start with. Try to encourage her to phone you once a day at an agreed time (perhaps before supper) and talk to you about her day. You can check separately with the Housemistress to see how she is getting on. The school and its routines will be very strange to start with so give her time.

Perhaps you can think about giving her some home comforts – can she have her own duvet cover, soft toys and a few cakes or biscuits from home? Above all, take the advice from her Housemistress or Head of Year who will have seen it many times before.

If she is still very homesick by the end of her first term you could reassess your decision to opt for boarding. As parents you will know best what to do for your daughter. We have had some girls here who have been homesick on and off for a long time but still love the school and are very glad they are here!

I wish you all the best with this – it may well be harder for you as Mum than for her. When she is not on the phone to you she may be absolutely fine.