My daughter won't practise her violin any more...
Q. My daughter is 12 and has been playing the violin for over 3 years. She appears to enjoy the concerts and orchestra events she is involved in and has done reasonably well in her grade exams, but I am finding it increasingly difficult to persuade her to practise. I realise she has other claims on her time now, but I think she will really regret it if she gives up at this stage. How hard should I push her to practise and keep going with this?
A. This is such a common problem for young musicians as they understandably lose heart when they try hard to take their playing to a new, higher level from that of a beginner. Unnecessary, excess pressure from parents at this stage could prove counter-productive in the long-term.
Whilst musically you may feel that your daughter is at a temporary standstill, please don’t underestimate the important enrichment your daughter is experiencing whilst playing in orchestras and in concerts. Playing in ensembles and orchestras offers a young musician the opportunity to develop those much needed life skills such as social interaction, communication and teamwork. Like playing in sports teams, playing in orchestras and singing in choirs offer numerous opportunities to cultivate new friendships at university and in our working lives. Playing regularly in an orchestra will at least ensure your daughter’s on-going musical and technical progress.
It is also important that your daughter’s violin repertoire is not constantly exam driven. Ask your daughter’s teacher to introduce a more varied repertoire including lighter, contemporary music. There is a plethora of repertoire published and readily available, including some with backing-tracks on CD. Even though this might not be for the purist, such repertoire provides hours of playing pleasure for the young instrumentalist!
There is so much evidence to support the fact that the discipline of learning to play an instrument encourages greater levels of concentration and learning in all other aspects of children’s academic lives. It is also important to remember that playing a musical instrument helps to provide a breadth of experience and is another avenue for our daughters to achieve success and grow in self-confidence. So, off with the excess pressure, applaud loudly at your daughter’s concerts and enjoy her orchestral playing, find some fun repertoire and celebrate your daughter’s success as a player at every opportunity!
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We have found a similar problem and sometimes have resorted to either just getting Dad to send her off to do it….which causes far fewer arguments or splitting the practice up and asking for just scales one night and setting small achievable targets. For example learning the first two lines only but having a really good go at it. Praising and noticing any progress, not waiting for perfection. The next night add the next line or two…there are usually obvious phrases within pieces. Another night do some sightreading or oral etc…
But I agree with Alun Jones, orchestral work makes a difference. It puts music into context and is more social and fun that way. There is nothing more boring than lesson practice 5 days,lesson, practice 5 days etc…. And it’s worse when its for an exam as then its focussing endlessly on three pieces without the freedom to play something else even if you dont quite get it to exam performance standard.
The most significant turning point for our daughter was introducing her to an orchestra outside of school. In our case at the Merton Music Foundation but a lot of councils or areas have their own youth orchestras which often have a broader range of players and instruments, boys and girls (which certainly adds an interest for teenagers) and often a more cntemporary program. Look around, there’s a lot to chose from and they address many different levels of players. They can end up performing in some interesting venues which gives the whole thing a greater sense of occasion than the school hall. Some of these orchestras end up in the London Festival Hall, The Albert Hall and touring abroad.
The other difference we made was that each of us parents took up some sort of music from scratch and were seen to be practising and enjoying music. We also joined a pop choir at which there is every age group from 12 to 70. Music fills the house at every level from Dad’s early guitar chords, mum’s early singing, daughter and son on violins and the boy plays drums too. And then there are choirs.