The autonomous years

In their Autonomous Years girls take themselves very seriously. They take greater control of their lives making choices which will affect their future. Choice provides motivation and girls become more reflective about their own learning, strengths and talents. The frontal lobe of girls’ brains is the last area to develop. It affects impulse control, judgement and problem solving. As her brain and body continue to mature she becomes less narcissistic.

Parents become people; she can now understand your and others’ perspective. Your daughter should be socially confident and able to relate well to adults on an adult-to-adult basis. Although she is finding her own voice she still wants you to listen to and be interested in her, to be proud of and respect who she is becoming. You can help her see the truth about who she is beyond what she looks like.

Many girls have not yet made decisions about their future career. Within schools and colleges they will have more freedom and privileges as well opportunities for taking responsibility. As she develops her own values and ideals your daughter needs you as an advisor and confidante: to reassure her; to act as a sounding board as she explores her thoughts and as the person who loves her even when she gets things wrong.