Moving into the sixth form

The Sixth Form today is more pressurised than when many of us were at school, with a constant stream of modular exams, modular re-sits, coursework and mock exams. There are also many other pressures on students, so it is vital that you keep the channels of communication with your daughter open.

Parents often worry about how to relate to their daughters at this age – how involved to be in their schooling and how much space to give them. Every family will find its own solution to this, but it is important to be aware of your daughter’s school’s or college’s expectations so that you can help her to balance the sometimes conflicting priorities of academic study and a lively social life. A positive message is to work hard and play hard – in that order – so advise her to develop the habit of enjoying herself with a clear conscience because she is up to date with her work.

By setting out your stall like this, from day one, you will not have to nag her about getting enough sleep during the week or finding time to eat healthily. She will know your expectations and understand that you will cut her some slack at the weekends. It is far better to negotiate responsibilities and privileges in advance than arrive at these arrangements piecemeal when she starts to challenge the boundaries.

Many schools will have an introduction to the Sixth Form or a separate induction programme. Make sure you get along to these. If you can’t, make an individual appointment to see your daughter’s Head of Sixth so that you are up to speed with what the school or college expects on key issues: homework hours per subject; time to be spent on independent study; how study periods or ‘free’ time should be spent during the school day; the dress code; driving lessons; permission to be off-site during the day and commitment to the co-curricular programme.

From your daughter’s point of view, the Sixth Form is an exciting new phase in her life, linked in her mind with the sorts of freedoms that come with being older. It is a tricky job for parents to not burst that bubble, while at the same time, driving home the message that these adult freedoms can only be enjoyed if students have adult attitudes to the responsibilities that go with them. Preach the virtues of self-discipline and good organisation from day one: students who do well in the lower sixth are those who learn quickly to use their time wisely and resist peer pressures to see school/college as primarily a social scene.

Be clear to her that the Sixth Form is a big step up from GCSE and that she shouldn’t expect to be spoon fed. Her AS exams will be the main results influencing predicted university grades and university offers. A miserable Upper Sixth year re-sitting AS modules as well as studying for A2 exams is simply too high a price to pay for drifting through the Lower Sixth. At the same time, be realistic about expectations. You may have gone to Cambridge, but this may not be your daughter’s dream or ability level. Encourage her to be her own person, identify her own strengths and work towards attainable goals.

For those starting at a different school, particularly if they are moving to a co-ed environment, the demands and social pressures of making new friends, learning new ways of doing things and becoming established with an unknown group of teachers, may feel greater. Make clear to her that the real challenge is not to “dress to impress” but to hit the ground running, as those first AS modules may only be a few months away. Finding your bearings and a new social circle always takes time and it doesn’t pay to force the pace.

Above all, be there to listen and to make sure that your daughter sees you actively supporting the expectations of her school. Parents and teachers all want the same things and these can best be achieved by working closely together.