11+ - hopes and fears...

A MyDaughter subscriber asks:
Q. My daughter is doing her 11+ in 1 week. Her teacher, tutor and I all know she can pass this exam, she is very bright but she seems to have lost all motivation along with confidence in herself. She has become very quiet and despondent. Her results have been slipping and I would love to know what to do to put a little of her spark and hunger to succeed back as she used to love doing well at school. Any suggestions?

A. If both your daughter’s teacher and tutor have confidence in her ability then she is clearly a bright girl, but even bright girls can suffer from sudden doubts, loss of confidence and all round “wobbles”. This is probably the first significant challenge she has faced and it is only natural that she is feeling fearful. Rather then trying to “put a little of her sparkle and hunger to succeed back” I suggest that you focus on reassuring her of your unconditional love for her, in particular for the person she is rather than for her academic success. She may be worrying about the future in a general way, fearing the inevitable changes ahead, or she may be frightened that she will let you and her teachers down. In either case by reminding her of your confidence in her as a whole person and your excitement about what the future holds, she should begin to regain her sparkle. I wish her good luck and happiness.