How do I go about reading with my young daughter?

How do you find time to make reading with your daughter a priority? Who does it – mum or dad – and what and when is best?

The traditional bedtime story definitely still has its place but you’d be surprised how many additional opportunities there are to read together. Reading isn’t just a reflective activity, it can also stimulate lively conversations, encourage research skills, widen horizons and even introduce your daughter to the fact that being a girl doesn’t have to mean conforming to stereotypical notions of womanhood.

Reading with – and to – your daughter provides a different experience from when she reads alone. It’s an opportunity for you to enjoy discovering together and for her to see you relishing the process. Make it an animated experience and try putting on a new voice for each character. Don’t be shy or embarrassed about it – she deserves that little bit extra.

Bedtime is the accepted time to read together and it’s certainly a good way to enjoy some quiet time with your daughter, free from distraction, but what about a bit of lively, impromptu reading during the day? Keep a couple of picture books in the car. Play family games around reading road signs on your journey. Investigate the apps on your smartphone and download a few stories to read at those moments you find yourself with time to spare – in the doctor’s surgery or waiting in the car. Building a full menu of reading opportunities gives both parents the chance to read, as well as grandparents, and other adults involved in caring for your daughter, not just the one person who traditionally reads the bedtime story.

By all means encourage your daughter to read what she enjoys and feels comfortable with, but, every now and then, introduce something a little out of her comfort zone. Reading together is a good way to introduce her to a wide variety of subjects and stories. Open a non-fiction book and explore a topic of interest together. If she’s engaged, she’ll want to know more and begin to practice valuable research skills such as cross referencing. As she grows, look at the newspaper together. The more your daughter reads and talks about subjects which widen her horizons, the more her vocabulary skills will improve and the more practiced she will become in articulating her thoughts.

Some schools reward pupils for reading things which are out of their comfort zone and there’s no reason why you can’t do the same at home. Don’t assume that your daughter will only enjoy stereotypical ‘girls’ books either. Quite the opposite is often the case. Swap reading matter with her brother or her friends’ brothers. Fire her imagination with adventure stories, read about boys as well as girls, and seek out books which challenge the stereotypical female roles. By doing this you are gently paving the way for her to be unrestricted in her thinking about subject choices, her career and the shape her life takes as she grows older.

Reading together is also an excellent way to lead into a discussion about difficult topics you’re not sure how to tackle. If you’re in the habit of reading to your daughter, then you have a ready-made opportunity to introduce a tricky issue. Children’s literature is full of emotionally difficult scenarios – such as divorce and cyber bullying – and can provide you with a natural way to begin a delicate conversation. Jacqueline Wilson is an author whose books are particularly helpful in this regard.

That’s all very well, you might say, but how do I get my daughter interested in books in the first place? The first thing to say is, don’t force the issue. Make it a natural process by filling your house with books and other reading materials. Your daughter will emulate you so it’s important that she sees both her parents reading in front of her. Value everything – novels, magazines, comics, reference books – the more she associates reading with pleasure and everyday life, the more it will become a natural process for her.

A light hearted library visit can be enormously beneficial. My own daughter loves the fact that she can help herself to any book from the shelf, not just the ones that have her age on the spine. Let yours enjoy looking around, seeing other people reading, sitting and playing with books. Some libraries run special play and read activity sessions and book clubs for young children.

Reading with your daughter can be playful, inspiring, comforting and educational all at the same time. Enjoy it!

Read our related articles for some great reading ideas…
Books to share with your daughter
Summer holiday reading
Ideas for reluctant readers