Confessions of a Dad - how he learned his lesson...
Charlotte Johnson
Parents: Ian Johnson
Location: Bolton
Case Study: Bolton School (Girls' Division)
“Women will never be equal to men simply because they are not men”, I declared with that arrogance peculiar only to very young men. It was a long time ago: my “A” Level tutor went red with rage and confusion. After all she had just explained to the class the obvious fact that any inequalities between the sexes were due to social learning. I later studied feminist literature as part of my degree and began to agree with the ideas of my offended teacher.
My wife and I then sent our daughter Charlotte to a mixed gender private school. It was then that I began to think that my statement as a young man had some truth in it. Now that my insecure chauvinistic motives have gone I can rephrase it and say: men will never be equal to women simply because they are not women! Whichever way you look at it, girls are definitely not boys in more than the obvious sense. Girls are, as they say, “wired” differently to boys. This means, in particular, that they learn in a different way to boys.
True to research Charlotte was co-operative and liked group learning as girls do. In her reception class, a national test showed her to be in the top 1% of children in the country for English. The following year she was 12 months behind in her reading age. Why was this? I strongly believe it was the presence of boys in her form. To begin with it is proven that boys demand and get more of a teacher’s time than girls. Further there were several disruptive children in the class; the two worst offenders were boys and were later, I think, expelled. There were also the other negative factors regarding mixed education which we knew would come into play as Charlotte got older.
So my wife and I looked at Bolton School as a single sex school for Charlotte. We did not do this lightly as Charlotte was happy at her current school, even with its particular shortcomings. We went along to visit. We were struck at first by the very building itself. Its sandstone edifice looked so solid and reassuring. It looked like it stood for real values in this time of anomie.
What we noted next was the unassuming confidence of all the pupils there. Their academic and sporting achievements are manifest but there were no grandiose demeanors to be spotted. We are pleased to see our daughter has adopted a similar manner. Charlotte achieves things but she has no interest in being better than her classmates.
We observed that the teachers were great role models too. They ran the school and got things done but showed great respect for their pupils. We have never to this day heard them shout. This is perhaps why there is little or no bullying at the school as the girls see such fine adult examples.
Although I am pleased that academic achievements are good, the girls are not pushed too hard. Homework is adequate and if the girls are taking too long to complete it they are encouraged to stop. The philosophy of the school seems to be that little hinges swing big doors.
At school Charlotte has private piano lessons and flute lessons as well as enjoying a rather boisterous chess club and an inspiring science club. She has a large network of friends at Bolton school and I think Charlotte’s form teacher loves Charlotte as much as Charlotte loves her. Every day at school is a complete day and a successful day for Charlotte. Choosing Bolton School for her was one of the best life decisions my wife and I have ever made. I think Charlotte agrees with us. I for my part have learnt my lesson about women, I hope and would venture to state that Simone de Beauvoir would not recognize any second sex these days.
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I feel reassured that moving from a mixed to a single sex school, Charlotte is happier.
I like to hope that the same will happen to my daughter. she is moving next september 2010 althought I have not noted what you have described in her current, mixed school. Thank you for enlightening me with your observations.