To board or not to board…
Olivia Smith
Parents/Guardian: John and Sarah Smith
Location: Brighton
Case study: Roedean
Our family always used to joke about Roedean. Whilst driving past the school on trips to Brighton, we used to remark on the ugliness of the buildings and how they looked most unwelcoming, perched on the edge of the cliffs. Roedean didn’t look at all like a school. Then, in January of Year 6, our older daughter, Olivia, announced that she would like to have a look around different schools.
We have always favoured single sex education, and the girls’ current school was ten minutes drive away from our house and it has an extremely good reputation. The girls were happy there and we were pleased with the education they were receiving. We did, in fact, have some recent knowledge of Roedean. I had presented a Careers talk at the school two to three years previously and therefore had experienced the school in operation, albeit briefly. We decided there was no harm in looking around.
Although the girls could stay at their current school until they completed their A-levels, fourteen years is a long time to spend in the same establishment and we felt, if they were to change, it would be better to leave at the end of Year 6, rather than start in one senior school and then transfer to another senior school as a late starter. We did, of course, ask Olivia why she wanted to move. Her reasons were that she wanted to be more independent, she wanted to board and she wanted to have a fresh start, rather than continue as the same Olivia everyone had known since she was four years old. Unfortunately, my husband could not visit the school on the day Olivia and I went. The first place she saw was the library and as she has always been a bookworm, I could see in her eyes that the school was “sold”. Olivia sat the entrance exam which happened to be scheduled for the following week and was offered a place.
Having decided to send Olivia, the next decision was whether to send her as a day girl or boarder. A major attraction of the school to us was and remains that it is predominately a boarding school with an ethos that goes with that. There is a wide range of activities that are organised by the school and take place at the school and we felt that Olivia would be able to participate in these more fully as a boarder. Another factor to take into account was time; it takes between thirty and ninety minutes to drive between our home and school, depending on traffic congestion caused by the rush hour, holiday makers, football matches and horse racing. If Olivia were to be a day girl she would spend about three hours a day on a minibus-deadtime- the days would be longer and at age eleven we thought she would get exhausted. She wanted to board but on the condition she could come home at weekends.
Roedean gives girls this flexibility and it is easy for us to adapt to the various times she may wish to come home, to fit in with the activities at school. Boarding at a school located in the same county where one lives may seem a strange concept, but to us it wasn’t as we already knew parents of girls who live in Sussex, with its notoriously poor infrastructure, and who board. We did not have lengthy conversations with those parents prior to making our decision but they did recommend the school.
I believe there to be two major downsides to boarding. The first is the cost, which for many families can be described as life-changing or even a lifestyle decision. Sacrifices may need to be made to pay the fees. The second downside is that your daughter’s progress and the way in which she spends her free time is totally out of your control as you haven’t a clue what she is doing! I know parents of girls at day schools who can give a blow by blow account of their daughter’s day, what they were given for homework, how long it took them to do it and what mark they achieved (and how much parental help was given). None of this happens when your daughter goes to boarding school. She is too busy to tell you! For knowledge of her progress you must rely on school reports. However mobile phones and e-mails make it possible to keep in touch with your child so you can hear major items of news-both good and bad.
It can be an emotional roller coaster as a parent when you get the tearful phone call but often, as you will find out later, once your child has offloaded the disaster onto you and got it off her chest, leaving you to worry; she puts down the phone and immediately feels a lot better! The upside to boarding is that your child grows up to be independent, able to manage herself and her time and possesses an inner confidence. Olivia now cringes when she is reminded (usually by teachers!) of how cute she was when she did her solo tap dance at the age of twelve, during the school’s annual Variety Competition . But she had the confidence to get up and do it and do it well. Girls also learn how to live with a variety of people from different cultures and countries. The multiculturalism of the school is a factor my daughters really enjoy. It has not been an easy five years. Despite coming home at weekends, Olivia was very homesick and it was reassuring for us that she had kind house staff who welcomed her back with a mug of hot chocolate on Sunday nights. She has now started sixth form with a mature attitude and is working hard to meet the challenges of the future and to continue to contribute to the fabric of the school. Although she has a very different personality and set of skills, it was a natural step to send our younger daughter, Grace, to Roedean, where she too is thriving. She telephoned me earlier this week in a state of great excitement, to tell me she’d been awarded her Bronze Jazz Certificate (Distinction) and has been elected to the School Council-the sort of ‘phone call that leaves a boarding parent thinking it is all worthwhile and the decision to board was the right one!
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