FAQs
Q1 – Aren’t co-ed schools a better preparation for real life?
A1 – A single sex school doesn’t mean a single sex life. In a girls’ only environment your daughter can to develop at her own pace, perhaps succeed in traditional boys’ subjects, have experience of leadership, make mistakes and form strong friendships free from the pressures and distractions that the presence of boys brings. Most girls’ schools have social, sporting or academic links with boys’ schools so she can, in the words of a very successful young woman “keep boys as a hobby”!
Q2 – Surely bullying will be worse in an all-female environment?
A2 – It’s true that at times girls can be extremely bitchy towards each other but this can be even more prevalent in a mixed school as girls vie for boys’ attention and are judged by their physical appearance. In an all-female environment girls form deep, lifelong friendships as they support each other through the thrills and spills of growing up. Teachers in girls’ schools have experience of girls’ unkindness, its causes and how best to tackle it.
Q3 – Will a private girls’ school be full of rich, snobbish prima donnas?
A3 – Not at all. A wide variety of hard-working parents from different backgrounds manage to find the means to fund their daughter’s schooling because they believe that the education, opportunities and nurturing she will receive in a girls’ school is the best foundation for life they can give her. Most schools have funds for bursaries and are keen to offer talented girls the chance to flourish.
Q4 – I am looking at independent day schools for my daughter but the process seems overwhelming. Can you advise me?
A4 – You do need to check deadlines for schools in your area. Check their websites or contact their Admissions departments/Registrars and see when they require registration for the year/term when you would ideally like your daughter to start a new school.
Consider, too, the geographical constraints and how far you are happy for your daughter to travel each day. You might find a longer journey than she had been used to is less of an issue than you might think. Check what the transport arrangements might be so that you know this is something which you can logistically manage. If the schools are selective, talk to her current school about whether they think she will cope successfully with the pace and level of the work at the schools you are considering.
Once you have narrowed it down to a small group of schools that have places/you’re within the deadlines for registration and you know that in terms of travel this is feasible, and that your daughter should be comfortable with the academic demands of each school on your list, then you can begin to consider which school might suit your daughter best.
When you visit, you may choose an Open Day event (when the school is on display for visitors) or try to arrange an individual visit and tour when you can receive more personal attention and focus on your questions and your daughter’s interest and needs. My advice would be to do both if you can. On Open Days there may be more pupils and staff for you to talk to (and usually activities for the visiting children too) but an individual visit will give you the chance to see the school on a working day and to soak up the atmosphere, which is important.
Think about the questions you might like to ask beforehand, and don’t be embarrassed if you want to make a written list and consult it during the visit – schools will be used to this! Do meet the Head if you can and find out how well she/he knows their own school and the children in it. How interested does he/she appear to be in your child? Talk to some of the children you meet and see how friendly, confident and enthusiastic they seem to be. Do the staff you meet, teaching and support staff, seem welcoming and positive? If you talk to teachers about their subject specialisms, do they seem passionate and committed?
Good luck with your search and your choices. You might even find you enjoy the process, which can be fascinating and stimulating!
Q5 – We are planning to attend lots of schools’ Open Days, but what if my daughter’s first choice of school is not the same as mine?
A5 – Although you will want your daughter to be part of the decision-making process, depending on her age you might like to narrow down the options before you take her to see them. If you find it overwhelming, she certainly will! Also, when it comes to taking entrance assessments it is advisable to restrict the number she completes. You want to do what you can to make this manageable and not too stressful and tiring for her.
So my recommendation would be to visit the schools you’re considering first and then only take her along to see them when you’ve already restricted the choice to perhaps two or at the most three.
It’s a cliché, but choosing a new school is a little like buying a house. You can rationalise it too much – to a degree you should trust your instincts and see if it ‘feels’ right, to you and your daughter. If you both feel comfortable and positive, that will tell you a lot. It is about the atmosphere and the people – the relationships – and not about buildings and facilities, written statements about ethos and flashy documentation.
Once you have made the decision about where to apply and been through the entrance assessment procedure, you should be in a position to make an informed choice.
Q6 – My daughter didn’t get into the school we were hoping for – what now?
A6 – The main thing is to bear in mind that if your daughter isn’t successful in the assessment process, this wasn’t the right school for her – no one wants their child to be in a school where the academic standard is unmanageable for them. If she does have choices, go with your instincts and choose the one that feels right to you both – the one where she felt most comfortable and welcome. And having made the decision and informed the schools, forget about if for the next few months! Let your daughter enjoy her final year in her current school and wait until the latter part of the Summer Term before you let the excitement about the move begin to build – don’t let her miss the moment.
Q7 – How can I help my daughter prepare for her SATs?
A7 – Here are some tips for helping her and you to prepare
- Do not overplay the importance of these tests. They are simply an indication of your daughter’s progress to date rather than a prediction of her future success or failure.
- Make sure both of you are aware of what will be expected and when the tests will take place.
- Look at past papers, and encourage your daughter to try out one or two examples at home, but remember the school will be helping her prepare and you should not need to spend additional hours at home.
- Reassure her that you know she will do her best and that is all you ask of her.
- Plan a treat for afterwards!
Q8 – What should I think about when I start to look for a secondary school for my daughter?
A8 – Here are some tips to help you through the process
- Start thinking about your choices early. Give yourself plenty of time to consider all the options.
- Don’t be panicked by what other parents say. You have to do what is best for you and your daughter. Other parents don’t always tell you the whole story.
- Keep an open mind and don’t dismiss options without giving them due consideration. You may well change your mind during this initial selection process.
- Look at the older girls in the school. Would you like your daughter to be like them?
- Visit as many schools as you can. See our tips on what to look for when visiting schools.
- How much you involve your daughter in this process will depend on you. Remember that friendship groups will change rapidly once she gets to senior school so don’t be swayed too much by where her friends are going.
- Your daughter may have to take several entrance exams which are likely to be stressful events for both you and her. Find out more about how each entrance exam works.
- Use your instincts. You know your daughter best.
Q9 – How can I help my daughter make a good start at her new school?
A9 – Try some or all of the following:
- Take any opportunities for her to visit the school. Most schools have some kind of induction day for new pupils. If her school doesn’t do that, ask if you can be shown round again-just a brief tour-to refresh your memories.
- Look out for public events at the school such as a summer fete and go along. It’ll help your daughter feel part of the school and help to familiarise her (and you!) with her new surroundings.
- If the school is in a new area, drive past a few times. Get out a map and show her where the school is in relation to home and to other familiar places.
- If your daughter is going to be travelling independently or by school coach, do the journey there and back several times, showing her what to look out for just before she gets to school and as she leaves school at the end of the day.
- If your daughter doesn’t know anyone else at school, ask the school to put you in touch with someone. It’ll be a useful contact for you as well as your daughter.
- Leave the school’s prospectus and any newsletters they’ve sent you lying around so that she can quietly look through them whenever she wants to.
- Talk to your daughter about how she’s feeling about the move. Be prepared for a mixture of emotions: sometimes excited, sometimes apprehensive. Talk with her about previous experiences of change-hers and yours. Share your experiences of change and how you felt. Reassure her that change is always a time of mixed emotions.
- Check in good time the information the school has given you about arrangements for the start of term. Make sure your daughter knows what the school has planned for the first day and what she needs to take with her.
- If the school has asked for uniform and personal possessions to be named, make sure that’s done. They are likely to be checked in the first day or so and new girls hate to be seen as having failed to conform.
- Make sure your daughter knows how to contact you in an emergency. If she doesn’t have a mobile , write the numbers on a piece of card and let her put that, and some money for an emergency phone call, in a safe place so she knows where to find it. (You’d be amazed how reassuring that’ll be.)
On the day…
Make sure she gets to school in good time. Wish her good luck and smile-at least until you’re out of sight!
