My daughter wants to board...
Q. Should I send my daughter to boarding school if she wants to, even though I’m against it?
A. I wonder why you’re against sending your daughter to boarding school…
How up to date is your knowledge of boarding? I suggest you do some research online then go and visit several boarding schools of different shapes and sizes. You will then have a better idea of what boarding has to offer and whether your daughter would benefit from studying and living in such a busy environment. If your current view is confirmed you will also be able to disagree with your daughter from a well-informed position.
If it’s because you’re afraid of losing her you need to accept that as our children grow up they inevitably move away from us; that’s what successful parenting is ultimately all about. However, provided you have a strong, open and loving relationship she will keep coming back… In fact you may have trouble getting rid of her in her 20’s!
Have you asked your daughter why she is keen to board? Her answer may be revealing – she may want to participate in the wide range of activities or perhaps she wants to enjoy the close friendships which develop in such an environment. She might want to cut out travel time which can really eat into a student’s day. She may not like being dependent on you to drive her to and from school if she is older. These are all worth considering carefully.
In boarding schools girls are nurtured, allowed to grow up at their own pace and gain the confidence and independence that no other educational environment gives.
Above all, I’d advise against sending a young person to a school she is unhappy about as however good the school is, she will not approach the situation in the right frame of mind, and there is potential there for a real disaster. If you – and she- have enjoyed exploring all the options together, and it might turn out to be a lot of fun and reveal a lot to you about your daughter, then you will be in a better place to be able to advise her.
This article was written by Wendy Griffiths on 13/01/2010
Your comments
It's not an easy thing for a mother to do and I certainly don't think it's natural. It depends greatly on personal circumstances, how good your relationship is with your daughter - curiously the stronger your link the more successful it can be and both of you bracing yourselves for an 'up and down' first year. Just don't have a knee jerk response to the idea.
I have a daughter who is in her second year at Miss Griffiths' school . She loves it and boarding schools are no longer the prisons they were when I was at school! Children get so much out of boarding and if your daughter is keen, then explore what opportunities there are for her.
This was quite helpful for me because my daughter wanted to go to boarding school at 11+ and so did her father but I didn't. I decided to let her go to a boarding school called St.Mary's and she started in September 2009 and she is enjoying it.
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Most boarding schools operate several types of boarding. Full boarding is full-time. Flexi-boarding is usually from one to four nights per week.
Occasional boarding is just that, the odd night here and there without continuity.
My daughter has been a day pupil for years but has had to board to be there for her AS exams taken over the last two weeks because of the adverse weather.(Jan 2010) She likes it so much she's flexi-boarding three nights a week from now on. We have a long school journey so it's cut all of that out and gives her more time to socialise with her peer group as all 6th form students board separately from the younger girls.