Are girls growing up too fast?

Are girls growing up too quickly? What can parents do about it?

We live in a relatively uncensored society, where it can be easy to find and gain access to highly sexualised films, books, magazines and other materials. Much of what passes for ‘normal’ comment on women and girls in our daily newspapers, even, often focuses, at least to some extent, on appearance and perceived attractiveness; is it therefore any surprise that girls are often encouraged to grow up too quickly, aspiring to look and act and feel like adults before they have perhaps developed the judgement to balance out their feelings and behaviour?

Rather than simply accepting this, however, parents should take the line that it is their role to establish limits and boundaries, and to ensure that, as best possible, their daughters are exposed to age-appropriate material. Parents need to be honest in this – we cannot pretend that our daughters will never grow up, will never reach puberty or will never experience or have to deal with awakening feelings of sexuality. We cannot keep them children for ever, and nor can we entirely protect them from images and ideas that they will encounter in society; we can, however, help them along the path if we are sensible in our approach.

Practical tips and strategies:

• Be aware of what images, toys and games represent, and don’t bow to pressure if you feel that what your daughter wants is inappropriately sexualised. Lap dancing kits and ‘sexy’ underwear for 7 year olds are never going to be entirely harmless in the messages they communicate.
• Read what your daughter is reading, and watch what she is watching. If you are shocked by what you see (and you might be, if you read some of the magazines aimed at pre- and young teens), then talk to your daughter and tell her what you feel. Explore why she is reading this – is it because her friends read this? If so, sharing your moral position with her and the fact that you are unafraid to hold it, may give her courage to do something different.
• Listen to your daughter and deal sensitively with her; if it is embarrassing for you to talk about sex, then it is ten times worse for her. If you want to draw her to you, then don’t be put off if she tries to avoid talking about it.