My daughter doesn't want to grow up...

Q. My daughter is going to secondary school in September. I think she fears growing up as her behaviour has regressed lately. She doesn’t want to bathe or wash her hair and she talks in a babyish voice. For her birthday she was looking at choosing toys more suitable for 6 year olds. She avoids all talk of growing up and becoming independent. How can I make this transition easier for her, while equipping her with the skills and knowledge she will need for this next phase?

A. It is likely that this behaviour is totally unconscious so I think that (on the surface) it is best ignored in a calm and cheerful fashion! If you were to try to challenge or question her speech or her preferences at the moment your daughter is likely to feel even more insecure and fear that you disapprove of her in some way. Instead just allow her to be who she wants to be at the moment but ensure there are plenty of interesting and stimulating opportunities and diversions in her path waiting for when she is ready and able to respond. What about organising some nice trips over the holidays to museums and the theatre? Watch a film with her. Take her to a book shop and each choose a new book and talk about them. Buy her some lovely new bathroom products. In short, just keep taking an interest in her. She will move on when she is ready. In the meantime she needs to feel secure in your affection and support for her.