Understanding Facebook
For many parents and teachers the world of Facebook is an alien place: it certainly operates under a different set of rules. This article is an attempt to unpack two of the dynamics of social networking sites:
Making Friends
When we as parents or teachers meet someone new, say at a drinks or dinner party, we trade snippets of personal information about ourselves as part of the “friends-making process”. Where we work, where we went on holiday, our favourite film and what music we listen to – such is the stuff of social small-talk. As we get to know someone better, we share more personal information about ourselves and, over time, the transition is made from casual acquaintance to friendship.
Friend-making is at the heart of sites like Facebook. But when young people “make friends” on social networking sites they operate in a totally different way – cocktail party conventions do not apply here. The whole process is truncated into a millisecond as they disclose their life story in a single mouse click, disgorging enormous amounts of personal information to relative strangers.
The dynamic in the world of social networking seems to be that the more information that you give out the more “friends” you will have. Openness here is a virtue, a lack of disclosure is met with suspicion. Thus there is a contractual basis to the way in which young people use social networking sites they trade personal information for popularity – this is a key driver behind these sites.
“Famous for …….”
Social networking sites enable young people to emulate their role models. We live in the Age of the Celebrity. The famous live their lives in the eye of the media – the gossip pages of glossy magazines and fan websites share minute details of teenagers’ role models. Reality TV shows such as Big Brother have fuelled this craze with celebrities’ most intimate moments being broadcast to the world for public scrutiny.
So why should we surprised that young people want to be any different? Unprepared to wait for Warhol’s “fifteen minutes of fame”, Facebook enables anyone to behave like celebrities and to put themselves permanently in the public eye. Young people are able to share their thoughts with their friends and to update the world on even the most banal aspects of their daily lives. For some, Facebook is their diary, for others is a vehicle for a “second life”: an opportunity to present themselves to world as they would like to be seen.
Ultimately Facebook harnesses the timeless need of young people to spend time together (our generation did it on the phone) and satisfies a basic twenty-first century need to receive public recognition from ones peers.
This article was written by Mark Steed on 17/11/2009
Other articles by Mark Steed
- Mobile phones - when, where and how much?
- Protecting and supervising your daughter on the internet
- What is a 'diamond' school?
- Teenage parties and alcohol - setting the ground rules
- Bedtime texting and internet use can damage a teenager's health...
- "Talking Heads" - The challenges of social networking sites...
- School libraries RIP? The debate begins . . .
- Body image - it's all about perception
Your comments
I am a 43 year old mum with an 18 year old daughter, a 15 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. We all use facebook now – it is great fun! When my children first signed up to facebook, I was quite apprehensive as a lot of the news paper articles and reports were very negative about these networking sites. I decided the best way forward was “if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em!” and asked my eldest if she would mind helping me to sign up to facebook as I hadn’t a clue where to start…
All three of my teenagers loved the idea – their Mum was being “legend” which somewhat amazed me.
We are all now facebook friends and I keep an eye on their on-line activity and I daresay that they keep on eye on mine. I have advised them of just one thing and that is whatever you disclose on fb always keep in the back of your mind that one day a potential employer could be reading this.
Therefore, my suggestion to any apprehensive parent is that if you are suspicious of facebook, get your kids to sign you up with your own account. It does not take long to navigate your way around it. Two of my Aunts have recently joined facebook – one is aged 67 and the other 73 and they love it!
My problem like others is not understanding how it all works. For instance, i can see what is posted on my daughters wall, but is there any way to get a record of the chats she is having. i know this sounds very sneaking, but i have come accross some very unsavoury stuff while walking in unexpectedly and have made it clear she will lose access if she is not behaving suitably, but it seems so much can be said without us being able to keep track…any suggestions?
I am a Facebook user myself and am a ‘Facebook friend’ with my own children, nieces & nephews and many of my friends’ children etc as well as my own friends of course. This way we all can make sure everyone is safe and using Facebook sensibly. Used properly its a great tool!
My main problem is the amount of time my daughter spends on Facebook as much of it seems to be a waste of time. There are some very strange activities on there. But hey there are much worse things, she does her studying and isn’t out out with unsuitable types drinking and taking drugs!!
There are two main issues with Facebook…
1) their parents don’t know how to work it, especially the security.
2) the girls want to have as many friends as possible so have no qualms about befriending total strangers.
The key is having parents who are Facebook friends and who can keep an eye on online activity. It’s pretty easy to say that you must be friends with me or lose your access to the internet (and mobile phone, if that is how they access). Given that schools block Facebook, their only remaining option is the library.
I don’t understand why parents are afraid to take on their teenagers.
Add my comment…
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For those wanting to know more about privacy settings on Facebook, there is an excellent article on the InsideFacebook blog which will help you do this. Checkout
http://www.insidefacebook.com/2010/01/19/how-to-protect-your-privacy-with-facebook%E2%80%99s-new-privacy-settings-in-17-easy-steps/