My daughter is worried she will be lonely at university...

Q. My daughter is going to University this week and is terrified that she will not make any friends.  She has never been good at making friends at school and currently only has two friends, both of which are going to other Universities.  I have tried to get her to join clubs and societies, to no avail.  She says she is worried about being lonely at University.

A. I suspect that this is one area where you are going to have to leave it up to your daughter to find her own way. Although she seems needy at the moment, part of this will be because a move to university marks in effect the end of childhood, and can be quite a big step for both of you. Bear in mind that you are hearing her worries and anxieties, but this will only be part of how she feels – daughters need to offload on their mothers, and she will gain some reassurance from the very action of doing this (even though you may not see this!). Keep telling her all that you are already telling her – how to smile, be outwardly confident and take opportunities to meet people and do things with them, and when she gets to university later this month, much of this will stick. Your role is a supporting one – keep sending her cheery messages, and try not to worry too much. Reassure her that it may seem new and strange, but it is a big adventure and if she throws herself in, she will gain a huge amount. Perhaps, though, a gift for her for these final few weeks might be a copy of ‘How to win friends and influence people’ by Dale Carnegie – an apt and interesting read. You might also suggest she uses the UCAS moderated site YouGoFurther to make contact with other prospective students who will be on her course/in her Halls so she has some contacts before arriving at university.
I wish her the very best of luck.