Teenage parties and alcohol - setting the ground rules
Most parents that I meet are worried about their children coming into contact with drugs but the real social evil that should concern them is alcohol. With spirits retailing at less than £10.00 a bottle in supermarkets, most teenagers can afford to pick up a bottle from their pocket money. Fake IDs are routine and there always seems to be an older teen around to effect the transaction. The prevalence of alcopops has taken away one of the greatest bars on teenage drinking from previous generations – the taste. Most young teenagers don’t like the taste of beer, wine or even cider. Alcopops vary in their alcoholic content, but they appeal to those with a sweet tooth, slip down like fizzy drinks and have become an entry level to drinking spirits. It is no surprise that teenage drinking is a National problem.
The whole world of teenage parties and alcohol is one of the most difficult that parents face. Children will always try to play parents off against each other – “So-and-so’s parents let them, you are SO tight!” – and the consequence is that it is tempting for parents to default to the level of the most liberal. It is important that parents establish good lines of communication between each other and that they are clear about a number of keys issues, namely
- at what age alcohol will be available
- the amount and type of alcohol that will be provided
- what levels of supervision will be in place throughout the party
If alcohol is to be allowed at a party, limit access to wines and beers only [i.e. no spirits]. Although alcopops, which are particularly popular with girls, blur the spirit/ non-spirit divide, at least they are a ‘measured’ drink – I am not sure that it is ever wise to let young people pour their own! A strong, active adult presence at all teenage parties is essential – ‘policing’ duties range from excluding gatecrashers to being willing to check bags for teenagers ‘smuggling in’ illicit additional supplies of alcohol. A minimum of three adults at a ratio of one adult to ten teenagers should provide a good level of supervision and sufficient cover if anything goes wrong.
Alcohol is a normal part of adult society and it is important that young people learn to drink responsibly. This skill is best taught in the home, with parents perhaps offering a glass of wine with a meal or when at a family gathering. Supervision is the key. The greatest dangers come when teenagers are given opportunity to have access to alcohol – especially spirits – away from the home or behind closed doors.
Most importantly, parents should not underestimate the role that we play as role-models to our children – young people will pay more attention to what we do, than to what we say.
This article also appears in Mark Steed’s blog An Independent Head
This article was written by Mark Steed on 15/03/2010
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One of the unexpected main reasons why teenage drinking has become a national problem is because parents and schools have, through poor advice given in the past, been labouring under the misapprehension that early supervised parental introduction to drinking (under 16) results in so-called ‘sensible drinking’. A myth still persists that introducing children under the age of sixteen to alcohol earlier prevents heavy drinking and alcoholism later. While many believe that children benefit from the role-modelling and restraint displayed at the family dinner table, they perhaps have not considered the biochemical processes at work. A new generation of good research now finds that exposure to alcohol before sixteen years of age is actually more likely to increase the chances of a child becoming a heavy drinker. The teenage brain is very malleable and changes quickly in response to new influences; early exposure may ‘prime’ the brain to enjoy alcohol by creating a link between it and pleasurable reward. The same is true with nicotine. It seems that by trying to help our children resist over-indulgence with alcohol, we may inadvertently be switching on genes that affect susceptibility to alcohol addiction.
The UK’s chief medical officer Sir Liam Donaldson now recommends that parents do not allow their children to consume alcohol at all – even at home – until they are at least 15. The Department for Children, Families and Schools now urgently wants parents, children and young people “to have open conversations about alcohol, to ultimately delay the age at which young people start drinking.”
It’s important to have clear alcohol boundaries: even if children rebel, they need something to rebel against. As parents we feel able to say “do as I say, not as I do” about various things in our children’s lives. Alcohol is another area we should feel entitled to enjoy as adults yet not condone for our children if we don’t feel comfortable about them drinking. And we should certainly not be emotionally blackmailed into allowing them to have alcohol at their parties if we don’t feel it is right.
Ultimately, is there anything wrong with a more traditional situation whereby we know our child will experiment with alcohol at some stage, they know we know what they’re doing, but they also know that we don’t condone it?
This point is vital because our values will in some way permeate their subconscious.
Dr Aric Sigman.
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